Deb Dana, a leading voice in somatic psychology, coined this simple phrase “story follows state” to capture the importance of our state on our thinking.
When our state is dysregulated (even mildly anxious) like the figure on the left, our brain is mostly offline, and we're using fear-based short-cuts. These are hard-coded threat responses that worked for us when we were in danger in the past, usually as young children or teenagers. In this state, much of our memory is offline and new memories form less well. Our creativity is also largely unavailable. If we, say, answer emails like this, we might rush over important decisions, forget things, become defensive, assume negative intent or lose perspective. Later, we are hit by a headache or back pain.
When we're regulated, like the figure on the right, the whole body-brain is online, and wisdom, intuition, flexibility, and emotional availability come with it. We regain perspective and see the wider picture. We make new connections and take creative leaps. Memory works. The body doesn't need to shout to get our attention with symptoms. We read the people around us and pick up cues we'd otherwise miss. We're easier to be around.
That all sounds great, but how do we actually shift into the blue?
Well, definitely not by thinking! Trying to think our way out of activation is exactly how we get into a worse tailspin. We need a way out of the head and into the body.
Here’s a simple exercise to start with.
Whenever you notice you’ve slipped into the red:
Pause.
Name the state in a word or two (“worked up,” “overwhelmed”).
Let yourself feel it for a moment.
Give your system a nudge: five slow, deep breaths, or rub your face and the back of your neck.
Rest for a minute or two and track any subtle shifts in your body.
See if you can accept the sensation and surrender to it. In other words, don’t brace against the feeling or resist it in any way.
Every time you do this, you’re doing a bicep curl for self-regulation. The shift may be tiny at first. That’s normal. Over time your awareness sharpens and your body learns that it’s allowed to let go.
New to the red, blue and grey zones? Start with the three zones of your nervous system. And if you’d like support applying this to your own life, you can schedule a free consultation anytime.