The Pressure Cooker
Our journey begins in extreme intensity. Permanent hyperdrive. A place where few mortals can last for long.
It is here that we meet the Pressure Cooker, a relentless overachiever that has found its adaptation in harsh places. It survives these places by creating a world of extreme internal pressure.
In this series we are looking at protectors, or protective sub-personalities, that can become our whole identity and block our healing. Protectors form in response to adversity, chaos, or a lack of emotional support, usually in our early years. The pressure cooker decided, usually unconsciously, that a herculean effort would be needed in order to get us to a better place.
Pressure cookers are high-intensity in work, relationships and personal projects. They operate like Elon trying to get to Mars before civilization collapses. We often find them at the top levels of business and sports, epitomized by the formula-one drivers featured in the show Drive to Survive.
Impressive amounts of guilt are wielded at self and others when targets are not hit or the body can’t keep up. Although pressure cookers can be brutal on those around them, the brunt of aggression is pointed inward. They derive satisfaction from this suffering since it is familiar and implies progress. This aggression impinges the vulnerable parts of the psyche creating emotional pain, which is driven underground. Performance takes over as the main identity. Underperforming means losing this identity, or disintegrating into chaos and emotional pain.
This protector works hard and plays hard and even small matters become pressured in its hands. Intense drive is accompanied by near-constant muscle tension, shallow breathing, flat-to-catatonic expression, and high levels of background anxiety. This anxiety may cause ED, sleep disturbance, and a myriad of health issues. Often, psychoactive substances are used to control the side effects of pressure and to provide fast-acting relief. Shame around substance use adds further pressure, fueling further substance use and a triangle of addiction.
Ultimately, the pressure cooker prevents the system from tapping in to its deeper wells of energy, embodiment, healing, intuition, wisdom, and flow. As a result, pressure cookers burn out prematurely, miss resources outside of their tunnel vision, have significant health issues, and may die young.
In the healing process:
The pressure cooker tries to control the healing process and puts enormous pressure on getting better, ideally in record time. This pressure blocks the flow of bottom-up sensory and emotional information and prevents healing from actually happening.
The pressure cooker can be loath to give up even an ounce of achievement in order to heal. They can drop out faster than a fainting goat if they feel their success is threatened. I’ve had clients tell me they are willing to die many decades prematurely in order to succeed. Apparently, living is not a top priority.
How to work with the pressure cooker:
Show clearly how pressure is causing real problems that destroy the likelihood of any longterm success that’s worth having. The pressure cooker needs to deeply understand that de-escalating pressure is not a threat to success but an enabler of real success.
Learn the value of rest and play in making sustainable progress. Schedule downtime proactively. Rest is less costly than flareups, burnout, substance use, and medical issues.
Develop a mindfulness practice. This will help us gain perspective and work smarter, not harder.
Notice when this protector takes over and learn to unblend from it to come back to our senses, i.e., the whole embodied self—more to come on this…
Bonus Points: Through journalling and therapy, locate the emotional pain that this protector has been guarding. The more we experience the underlying pain directly, the more we can unburden this pain, and the protector can relax. The pressure cooker is protecting us from something that has already happened.
Resources:
Alan Gordon’s 28 day recovery program (aimed at this type)
Free 17 minute Somatic tracking meditation (guided by me)
